Dear Zach,

Hopefully I can find the right place to start. And hopefully I can manage to include everything I want to say in this.

From the first time I ever even spoke to you, I’d always sortof wanted something to happen between us. I never thought that it would in a million years, to be honest, and I’m still kind of in shock that we have something now.

But, ever since we’ve had what we do, I’ve been extremely happy. As soon as I wake up, you’re always on my mind, and I just always want to be talking to you, and want to be with you. It seems like every time I smile, you’re the reasoning behind it. Every second I’m talking to you, or see you, I have absolutely no reason to be anything except for perfectly happy. I don’t even have to be talking to you, and I’ll be smiling. You don’t have to intentionally do anything, but just thinking about you makes me so happy, that I can’t even contain my smile. Ask anyone, I’m so much happier now. You’ve made everything so much better for me, when no one else has. From all of the stupid things people keep trying to start about us, to both of us losing some shitty “friends” over it, you’ve still maintained the ability to keep me 100% happy, and not worry about anything except for us, and not let everyone else’s opinion get between what we have.

You know the bad luck I’ve had with guys over the course of the past year. You’ve seen some of it happening right in front of you, basically. From all the guys who have been assholes, and the ones who have either used me, gave up, or found someone else, you make me realize that you’re nothing like any one of them, and that you believe that I deserve someone like you. You’ve proven to me that you actually want to be this important part of my life. You treat me better than anyone has in so long, and you make it known to me about how you feel.

To me, every. single. thing. about you is perfect, and nothing less than that. Your personality, your intelligence, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your looks, your cuteness, your affection, your talent, your amount of determination you put into everything, your amout of care towards everyone. Everything. I’ve yet to find anything wrong with you, and I think you’re absolutely flawless. I think no matter what, you always look amazing. Even though you don’t believe that. (; I cannot even begin to explain how you have every single quality of the exact person I want to be with. No one has ever come close to being the exact definition of perfect, other than you. It really stuns me how perfect you are in my eyes, Zach. I would never change a single thing about you, and I want you just the way you are. I don’t think that any girl that you’ve ever been with has deserved to be with you. Hell, I’m not even sure I deserve you. But I’m so glad that I have you now.

You’re probably one of, if not the only, person that I can talk to about anything. It’s so easy to talk to you, and tell you whatever I need to, without feeling like I’m being judged, or I feel like I shouldn’t even be telling you. It’s so easy to tell you whatever I need to, and I really do tell you everything. I can fully trust you, and after everything that has happened lately, you’re the only one that I can actually trust. I don’t have a problem with it being only you, because I have no doubts or uneasy feelings about teling you what I need or want to. I hope it’s the same way with me, because I want you to be aware of the fact that I will always be here for you.

The thing that I’m striving for most at the moment, is make you completely happy, and give you everything you deserve. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have someone to love you, you deserve you have someone to be there for you, and you deserve everything I’m going to give you. I hope I do everything possible to give you everything you need and want, and prove to you how much you mean to me.

You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re now such a big part of my life. Now that you’re in it, I have no idea what I would ever do without you. I can honestly say, that you’re the one person that means the most to me right now. I hope that I never, ever lose you. I have an amazing feeling about us, Zach. <3

-Emily.

Dear, Zachary.

I know I’ve already written you something on here, but I feel like you deserve something like that again. And just like last time, I hope I get to say everything that I want to.

Zach, I’m so happy because of you. Over the time that we’ve had everything that we have now, I’ve just been so much happier with everything I do. I don’t feel horrible, and like I’m constantly alone. Everyone over the past two years or so that I’ve been close to has abandoned me except for Kaylyn. You and her and the only two people left that mean something to me, and that I actually care about.

I’ve had a horrible history with relationships as well. Usually, by now, the same thing would have happened that happens with every guy I’ve attempted to have something with. By now, they’ve either found someone different, give up, or one of the many reasons why it doesn’t work out.

You have no idea how much I love that you’ve stayed with me regardless of everything we’ve been through. I haven’t gone through so much difficulty in a relationship with all these circumstances before. Our relationship and everything along with it is new for me. I love how no matter how hard it’s been, you haven’t left. You have no idea how much that means to me. Really. With how everything has been in the past, it actually proves to me that you want this.

If anything is ever on your mind, I want you to talk to me about it. I want you to always turn to me if you feel like no one else is there. I’ll always be there for you no matter what, and I’ll always strive to make you happy. That’s the main thing that I want you to be. I don’t want you to hold anything in, and let your feelings bottle up. I know that it may be difficult for both of us to completely do that, but I want you to know that I AM here for you. I’ll help you with anything, and talk you through anything.

Zach, I know that everything is really hard right now. I know that everything is really chaotic at the moment, and that it’s taking a toll on us both. But, I just want you to know that I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to give up on you, and I’m not going to give up on us. Before it got closer and closer to you actually leaving, we agreed that we’d try our hardest to make everything work. Just because it’s dawning on us that this is really happening, doesn’t mean that I want everything to be change. Just because things are going to be tough at times, doesn’t mean that we should give up. Relationships are about working through anything and everything.

Even with you being more than 700 miles and 11 hours away, that doesn’t mean that I won’t love you any less. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to forget about you. It doesn’t mean that I’m just going to let everything fall apart. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up on anything.

I know at some points things are going to be really tough. Sometimes we’ll feel like giving up, and just letting go because that’s the easy thing to do. I know that the strain of not being able to see you is going to eat away at us and hurt so much, but no matter how hard it gets, I’ll always love you. I’ll love you when you’re gone, and I’ll love you when you’re right next to me. You mean far too much to me to let go of you.

I love you, Zachary. So much more than you know. <3